Random Thoughts from a Delirious Cyclist

   Today I had a five hour bike ride on the schedule.  Five hours. That's a long freakin' bike ride. Do you know what you can do in five hours?  You can drive from Nashville to St. Louis, for one. Or from Washington, DC to New York City.  Or fly from LA to Hawaii. Or watch your favorite movie - twice. You get my point. A five hour ride is a L-O-N-G time.

    To make matters worse, I rode it alone. Actually, I shouldn't say "worse," as I don't really mind riding alone. I love riding with friends, but I'm perfectly fine going solo. A long ride is a great time to reflect on what's going on in the world. The kicker is that I can only reflect for so long - an hour at the most. Then my mind starts wandering and I begin thinking about some really crazy things. Here's a sampling:

   "What IS that? Is that a groundhog? A badger? Wait - that's an armadillo! I've never seen a live armadillo before. How cute! I kind of want to pet him. Can you pet an armadillo? Wow - he's FAST. I didn't know armadillos were so fast. If they're so fast, why are they always dead on the side of the road?"  

   "I haven't seen anyone in a while. Where is everyone? I thought I'd see more people out here."

   "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! His name is my name, too (three, four, five). Whenever we go out  ...the people always shout...there goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! Fa la la la la la la!! That's a weird song. I wonder where that song came from. I need to google that when I get home. Hmm. John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt..."

   "My new wheels are like sails. If it's windy in Chattanooga, I'm screwed."

   "Why is there always so much animal poop on the Trace? These animals live in the wilderness! Why do they come out to the road to poop? My dogs go to the grass to poop. And what kind of poop is that? That's so weird."

   "I hope there's not a rapist in the rest area."

   "Surely that vulture is going to move out of the road. Move Mr. Vulture...I'm not going to take your road kill. Please move.... Ok, I'll go around you."

   (In my best Celine Dion) "ALL BY MYSELF! I'm gonna be ALL BY MYSELF for a while."

   "WHY haven't I seen anyone? Is that Kim? Kim wears pink. Maybe that's Kim. Nope - not Kim."

   (When pulling into the rest area) "Oh great. Scary motorcycle guys pulling in behind me."

   (When leaving rest area) "I meet the nicest people at Trace rest areas."

   "Oh there's Schwanny! Hey Schwanny!"  

   "If you could do an x-ray of the grass next to the road, I wonder how many bugs there would be? I bet it would freak me out to know how many bugs there are in that patch of grass."

   "SQUIRREL!"

   "I think my thighs are too big for this saddle."

   "And when we say...Yeeow! A-yip-aye-yo-ee-ay!! We're only sayin' You're doing fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma! O.K.L.A.H.O.M.A!"

   "I wonder what ever happened to my middle school choral teacher, Mr. Houff?"

   "Only two hours left. Good Lord- how did I get to a point in my life where I'm happy that I "only" have two hours left in a bike ride. What am I doing out here?"

   

   You get the idea. Lots of randomness. Lots of singing. You have to do something to pass the time. The good news is that, while it got hot at the end, the ride really wasn't that bad. I suffered worse during a three-and-a-half hour ride a few weeks ago. I guess I'm getting used to all of this training. Which is good because I only have about nine weeks before Chattanooga!!